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	<title>If I Were King &#187; Domestic Affairs</title>
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	<link>http://www.ifiwereking.net</link>
	<description>The world might not be a better place, but it would make more sense.</description>
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		<title>Why wait?</title>
		<link>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2009/05/why-wait/</link>
		<comments>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2009/05/why-wait/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 May 2009 09:32:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vanhorn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Domestic Affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ifiwereking.net/?p=77</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Congress is turning its attention to abuses by credit card issuers (i.e., banks) and taking steps to reign in the most egregious of these. Most notably, Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) drafted H.R. 627, the Credit Cardholders Bill of Rights Act of 2009 with an effective date of twelve months after enactment or 30 June 2010. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Congress is turning its attention to abuses by credit card issuers (i.e., banks) and taking steps to reign in the most egregious of these. Most notably, Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) drafted H.R. 627, the Credit Cardholders Bill of Rights Act of 2009 with an effective date of twelve months after enactment or 30 June 2010. Apparently the Federal Reserve Board needs five months to draft rules to implement the act, which should take any reasonable group of people an afternoon &#8211; even if the group included attorneys. And the banks claim that they need time to make changes to their systems.  Stuff and nonsense! If I Were King, I&#8217;d allow 30 days, becuase I&#8217;d be a very generous and lenient monarch.</p>
<p>I&#8217;d allow certain exceptions, of course. Any card issuer could be granted additional time to comply if their IT staff (and here I&#8217;m talking about programmers, not the suits who wouldn&#8217;t know a variable from an array or define &#8220;third normal form&#8221;) would come to the throne room and explain why they couldn&#8217;t have these changes coded by the weekend.</p>
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		<title>Letters</title>
		<link>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2009/01/letters/</link>
		<comments>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2009/01/letters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:50:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vanhorn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Domestic Affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ifiwereking.net/?p=35</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We don&#8217;t write many letters these days. We don&#8217;t want to spend the time writing them, we don&#8217;t want to spend the time reading them, and we certainly don&#8217;t want to wait for them to be carried physically to distant places. We want it short, and we want it now. The era of Twitter. I&#8217;ve [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We don&#8217;t write many letters these days. We don&#8217;t want to spend the time writing them, we don&#8217;t want to spend the time reading them, and we certainly don&#8217;t want to wait for them to be carried physically to distant places. We want it short, and we want it now. The era of Twitter.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve recently been immersed in a project involving letters, about 700 of them. Obviously artifacts of another era. Specifically, they were written during the Great Depression. A man named James Linsley, a street-car operator at Minneapolis, Minnesota, longed to return to farming, and wanted his son to learn the ways of the farmer. With his wife Martha, he bought a small farm at Nevis, Minnesota, but there was no way to give up his paycheck. So in the summer of 1932, Martha and their two children, John and Ruth, decamped for Nevis, while James stayed in town.</p>
<p>It didn&#8217;t work. Two years later they had lost the farm and all were back in the city. But while they were giving it their best shot, the letters flew back and forth. On some days, all three of the Nevis group wrote to James, and James sometimes wrote to all three of them on the same day as well.</p>
<p>Many years later, when little Ruth was in her 80s, she bought a manual typewriter and transcribed the text of all the letters, and wrote a charming narrative about the experience. The letters are full of marvelous details about, both letters and narrative present a close-up look at life in that time and place.</p>
<p>Ruth&#8217;s daughter took the typescript to a friend of mine to be converted to text, and started editing the files. I was hired to build a website. I&#8217;m pretty proud of it right now, and when all the navigation is finished in a few days, I&#8217;ll be unbearable. Fifteen of the forty chapters are now up, along with about 170 of the letters. The DearDaddy.com home page is up, but if you want to dig into the content now you&#8217;ll need this link to the <a href="http://www.deardaddy.com/our_story.php">Our Story page</a>.</p>
<p>Now that we are in the hardest economic times since the Linsley&#8217;s tried their hands at farming three quarters of a century ago, there may be some value in taking a look at those letters. Just don&#8217;t expect it to be as quick as digesting the 140 characters of a tweet.</p>
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		<title>Like a House A&#8217;Fire</title>
		<link>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2007/12/like-a-house-afire/</link>
		<comments>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2007/12/like-a-house-afire/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:22:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vanhorn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Domestic Affairs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ifiwereking.net/2007/12/20/like-a-house-afire/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larkin roused me from sleep a few minutes ago, demanding that I get up because the &#8220;house across the way&#8221; was on fire. She had already called 911. In a daze, I went to an east window and didn&#8217;t see anything, then went to another room and looked to the north. I flung open the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Larkin roused me from sleep a few minutes ago, demanding that I get up because the &#8220;house across the way&#8221; was on fire. She had already called 911. In a daze, I went to an east window and didn&#8217;t see anything, then went to another room and looked to the north. I flung open the window and just stared. Less than a hundred yards away, eating at a fir tree, was an incredible tower of blackly orange flame against the night, with the occasional explosion.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve been here only three months and don&#8217;t know who lives there. Lived there, certainly noone lives there now. We joined a few neighbors in less than complete dress on the cold and misty street. By the time any of us were out there, it was beyond anything that any of us could do, we&#8217;d have to wait for the firetrucks. But I don&#8217;t have much hope that much of anything was saved, when I first saw it there was clearly no way to save the building, and not much chance of saving anyone or anything left inside.</p>
<p>One of the neighbors said it was a shop or a barn, and that the house next door was on fire too. The angry tower of flame I first saw, and the taste of the smoke that filled the street outside, suggested oil and tires, but I have no real idea. I just know that there was nothing a regular homeowner could have done. No garden hose was going to slow this down. Incredible power was at work as we huddled on the edge of the activity, unable to see or change what was happening, stunned. Awful, staring through the darkness into the gates of hell.</p>
<p>Maybe a quarter hour later, the flames are gone, the billows rising from the site are the white of steam. The night is lit by halogen floods and the flashing red lights from the firetrucks that ring the block. Those who know what to do in the face of such conflagration are mopping things up.</p>
<p>If I Were King, I would have been just as powerless.</p>
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		<title>Toilet Seats</title>
		<link>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2007/12/toilet-seats/</link>
		<comments>http://www.ifiwereking.net/2007/12/toilet-seats/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Dec 2007 03:18:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>vanhorn</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Domestic Affairs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.ifiwereking.net/?p=6</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[(Another gem rescued by the WayBack Machine, originally filed on 31 October 2004) I’m a guy. I’m not going to apologize for that, it’s just the way it turned out. For various reasons, guys and gals have different opinions about the normal state of toilet seats. This came as a surprise to me when I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>(Another gem rescued by the <a href="http://www.archive.org/">WayBack Machine</a>, originally filed on 31 October 2004)</p>
<div class="storycontent">I’m a guy. I’m not going to apologize for that, it’s just the way it turned out. For various reasons, guys and gals have different opinions about the normal state of toilet seats. This came as a surprise to me when I reached adulthood, because my mother and sister held an opinion that seems to be contrary to every other woman I’ve ever met.</p>
<p>Guys want to leave the seat up. Since most of the time we use the toilet we’re standing, and may approach the throne in a hurry, why not have the seat in the proper position for the most typical situation? Gals want the seat down, since they always use the throne sitting. Growing up, the house rules were that the seat must always be up, because the gals lacked confidence in the guys, suspecting we wouldn’t always take the time to lift the seat and not confident that we could aim through the seat. (They were probably right.)</p>
<p>In the home it isn’t possible to segregate bathrooms by sex in most cases. If I were king I could address the problem that way, but that doesn’t help most of us.</p>
<p>Then there are those who take this one step further if there is company coming: The seat cover must be down as well!</p>
<p>So, assuming a mixed-sex residence, how should this be resolved? My first reaction is that whoever has to clean it should get to decide. (That’s because I clean the toilets here in the palace.)</p>
<p>Programming theory has an elegant solution. The state of the toilet seat and cover is an “unitialized variable&#8221;, so the program should never assume it is in any particular state. Therefore, any routine that involves the toilet seat starts by setting the toilet seat either to a known default value, or setting it to the desired value for that routine. Pretty simple, eh? The rule of thumb is to be liberal about what you accept but very strict about what you do, which means that you make no assumptions about starting values, but always end a routine in a known state.</p>
<p>Basic fairness would require that all users have a similar experience, that none is treated preferentially. I know, somebody always expects to preferential treatment.</p>
<p>Therefore, based both on equal treatment of all comers, the need in some houses to keep pets from drinking the toilet water, good manners, and a basic programming response to a repetitive routine, we hereby decree that both toilet seat and cover should be down whenever you end your business in the bathroom, and that you shall not complain about the state it is in when you arrive. If I were king, this would be the law. Until then, it’s just a good idea.</p></div>
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